Once upon a time I met a man at a party my friend threw for me prior to my boob job. He worked at my local bottle shop and we had chatted before. I thought he was kind of cute, even if he did have a southern cross tattoo (VOM). That night, he offered to drop me home, but we ended up having a beer or two at his place. We talked for a bit, and he complained about his ex-girlfriend who broke his heart - boring, and sadly all too familiar. We didn't fuck or even kiss, but he held my hands and stroked my hip whilst we watched MTV. It just didn't feel right. He dropped me home around 3 in the morning, took my number, and promised to take me out sometime. He didn't.
Over the next year or two, I'd bump into this guy occasionally. He'd give me a lift home from the shops or he'd send me a message whilst I was at a party, and then come pick me up and make me two minute noodles when I'd want to go home. He'd always ask me out, and never followed through. In the end I just used to laugh at him and thank him for the lift.
He's moved to Perth now, and has a girlfriend, which makes me happy because he really wanted one and he was a nice, if spineless, guy. I saw him of FB yesterday evening, and then noticed on the newsfeed that he had some suss application - BeNaughty, or something - announce that he had joined. I sent him a quick chat message alerting him to the fact that this was being advertised. I thought he might of accidentally joined some stupid thing, and I knew that his girlfriend (who was just announced on his profile as being as such) probably wouldn't like the looks of it. We chatted a bit, and he mentioned coming to Sydney over christmas and suggested catching up. I hopped of FB and then the suggestive texts started.
Oh, jeeze. Really? I didn't know alerting him to a flirting application cockup could be viewed as a come on. I thought I was just being nice pointing out what I thought was a mistake. But no. I just became implicit in some dead-shit's plans for infidelity. So disappointing, especially as I thought he was a genuinely nice guy.
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I had a dream last night (part horror, part comedy) which contained the line "would you believe it's a vaginally inserted albino midget?".
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Christmas pudding flavoured gelato is my new down fall
The guy under discussion is just a guy. They're all like that at some point.
ReplyDeleteThe vaginally onserted midget, now I cannot think of what that would other than a tampon??
Yeh,..i know, we're all faulted, and I cant say that I haven't done similar in my time. It's just a shame that we can't be better, more honorable people. Humans always disappoint me.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure it was an actual midget, because someone was discussing a cause of death and there was rupturing and all sorts. Not sure though, as I made the other guy go and check behind the door which had a sign "this one's REALLY bad".
"would you believe it's a vaginally inserted albino midget?"
ReplyDeletei have a party to go to tonight, this is going to be my conversation starter.... nothing cooler than wandering up to people in a club and saying "would you believe it's a vaginally inserted albino midget?"
let the fun begin...
DOG3OY, how'd ya go?
ReplyDelete